Scaled.

Why Is My Life So Hard? Why Comparison is the Thief of Joy

Written by Kristin Luck | 5/14/18 5:35 PM

Whether you’re an entrepreneur, a senior executive or you’re just starting out on your career path it can be easy, particularly in times of stress, to compare yourself to your peers. Do you think other people have it easier than you? Or that the grass is always greener on the 'other side?'

Not too long ago I was zooming to a meeting, feeling stressed and severely jet-lagged from yet another two-day international trip and I passed by a grade school. Outside were a group of moms in tracksuits standing around chatting and calmly drinking coffee. I had a horrible moment where I thought, “Why the hell didn’t I have kids? Why did I decide on a big stressful career?” Later that day, I relayed the story to a friend who is a stay at home mom. She listened quietly while I vented and then said, “Oh please, don’t you know those coffee mugs are full of vodka and we all wish we’d just been on a trip to Amsterdam?”

The same goes for business. Too often I see entrepreneurs and business owners comparing their successes, and failures, to their peers. In truth, we rarely know what’s truly going on with our co-workers and clients. I’m often surprised when I get a chance to peek behind the curtain of a company- because what you see on the outside rarely aligns with what is going on inside.

I met one charismatic founder with a company that looked big and bold but was actually generating less than $1M in revenue and was about to go under. And another founder who had launched a product that was nothing but vaporware, couldn't bear to reveal the truth to his clients and investors and chose to shut down the company instead.

The truth is, most of us feel we face more headwinds and obstacles than everyone else — which breeds resentment. We undervalue the tailwinds that help us and it leaves us ungrateful and unhappy. How can we avoid this trap?

Listen to this podcast to understand how to break out of this cycle. Only have a few minutes? Jump to the 25:10 mark to understand how to combat a lack of gratitude that can feed resentment and keep us from acting rationally.